Choices

At a very young age, I started to dabble in drugs and found it as an escape. I continued to live that life style into my high school years. I left home at 15 and moved in with older people. I did not finish school and continued to live the party life not knowing who I was or taking responsibility.

I had many relationships with fellas. Then I met Jay, a fabulous guy, and I got pregnant. I still didn’t
Do anything about my drug addiction. Jay and I were married and I had the baby. My life continued to spiral downward and I was thinking I needed the party scene and not marriage and children.

Jay and I stayed married for about a year with me not participating in the relationship at all. Then I moved in with a fella who was an after hours bar tender and left my baby with Jay. This was probably the worst time of my life. I felt horrible.

One day I was at a party and had taken the baby with me, when Jay came and pounded on the door.
When I finally opened it, he said, “Give me James.”
I went and bundled up the baby and handed him to Jay who said, “Christy come with us.”

I said, “No, I’m staying here,” and Jay walked away with my son for the last time.

It got bad after that. I could see James but only under supervision. It was a horrible way to live and a horrible way to feel.

I moved from Philadelphia to Florida to get away and to start over. It was a crazy thing to do because moving away never works. I ended up in Venice with my parents. Eventually I entered rehab because I wanted my baby back. In the rehab, they talked about a “higher power.” They did not identify what that higher power was and told us we can choose what we wanted to as a higher power... Without arrogance or inappropriateness, I picked the character Alf from the television show. I really did not understand then, and it is amazing to think back on that, but I really didn’t understand what a higher power was or what it truly meant.

I didn’t take any of the suggestions truly in that rehab so I was destined to fail anyway. From the moment, I picked Alf and the lack of follow thru on any of the suggestions. They told us to stay out of relationships while we were there. I thought I was fooling everyone by the performance I displayed while I was there, I was president of the halfway house and I walked the corridors as if I knew exactly what I was doing. However, I was only fooling myself.

I entered a relationship with a man at that program.
Let me tell you to stay out of relationships. I was drinking on weekends and coming back on Sunday. It was just a game and they dropped me from the program.

We moved with his parents. His mother was disabled. Our lifestyle was insane; we traveled and wrote back checks on his brother’s account without ever thinking there would be any repercussions. I had never really been in trouble with the law except for some minor things. We also began to pawn some guns from his parent’s weapons collection for the money always thinking we would get them back out somehow. How insane.

When we were caught, I was charged with 21 counts of dealing with stolen firearms and two forged instruments over $50,000. I had no idea
how I had gotten there.

I went to jail and the judge released me to the custody of my parent’s house. However, I didn't stay put and was returned to jail and placed in the same rehab again. I jumped the fence, which is crazy because the gate was not locked. I ended up in jail again this time without bond so there was no way of getting out.

I started going to different things just to get out of my cell. I attended the Bible study there at the Sarasota County jail. I would sit in the back and I would talk. Sue Taylor, the Bible teacher at that time, would say would you be quiet, I’ll give you time afterwards to talk. At that time God started to work on me through what Susan was teaching. She had the ability to bring the Bible to real life today.

I started looking forward to going to Bible study and asking questions. I one point I asked her, “How do you get this thing?” She looked me in the eye and asked, “Do you like the way you are living?”

I didn’t like the way I was living. It was horrid.

She said, “There is another way- a new way of life.”

“How do I get this new way of life?”

She said I had to repent and accept Jesus Christ as my savior and if I believed he died on the cross for my sins and that he rose again three days later that I would be saved. She said I needed to go back to my cell and ask Christ into my life.

I went to my cell and all I could muster were the words, “Please help me.” That’s it. That was the catalyst that changed my life.

I returned to Bible study with a fresh look and eagerness to learn. I sat up front and I’m sure I was driving her crazy but I wanted a new way to live. In retrospect I’m sure that is when the Holy Spirit came into my life.

No kidding, I was prompted to stop swearing. I had a very inappropriate vocabulary. God was working on my heart. It was a slow process but amazing to me at the time. I continued to progress but I didn’t understand what I was reading. My Bible teacher said you are a baby in Christ so you are going to be reading mush for awhile but regardless the Holy Spirit and God would work though these times of mush and to read the word was feeding me no matter what.

I was facing eleven years in prison for the 21 counts of dealing in stolen firearms. As my sentencing came closer I asked my Bible teacher if we could pray that I don’t go to prison.
She said “You know Christy; this isn’t about a lifestyle change that you don’t go to prison. This is about a lifestyle change because you believe in Jesus Christ.”

I said I get it.

She said, “Whether you go to prison or not, you need to be a believer either way.”

So when we said the prayer for my court date it was in earnest that whatever God’s will was is what is best for me.

God’s will for me was to release me to a 12-step program called choices. I also was given seven years house arrest and five years probation and I had to pay $20,000 restitution.

I was released with a faith I could not lose. I had Jesus Christ. I started each day on my knees in prayer and I did everything in that program that they suggested.

I got a job and began paying my restitution. Each step I felt a little bit better and my self-esteem began to build. It was scary but I successfully made it through that program and I went back before the judge and actually got my sentence reduced. The authorities saw what was happening when you believe in Jesus, although I’m sure they didn’t view it like that but that I was doing well in the program

Life started to become a wonderful thing. I rented a little apartment and I acquired a kitty of my own. I was going to AA meetings and I was going to church and to Bible study. Actually when I was under house arrest The Bible study teacher starting coming to my home. Things were getting a little bit better each day.

Fast Forward----I met Patrick and we started going to churches. We had both been sober for sometime.
One Baptist church said we shouldn’t be living together. I guess they were sticking to their values and we hadn’t risen to that level of values yet. At this point God was working on me to be celibate. We had worked hard to acquire a house and. Patrick didn’t want to rip that apart. It was a struggle but I was certain that was what God wanted.

.Patrick said, “I am going to honor you if that is what God is calling you to do.”

Patrick stopped going to church. He said they were trying to rip us apart. I t was very hard because I knew my faith, and what I stood for and I knew I had to have a husband who had those values. It became a big struggle in our lives.

But God is in control (no surprise there) He had us go to friends wedding and Pastor Jeff Wilson did the ceremony. He chatted with us afterwards in a friendly manner and invited Patrick that Saturday evening. to attend South Shore Community Church, where Jeff was the pastor. What a blessing.

We loved the church but we didn’t really feel we fit right in because we were both recovering drug addicts and didn’t do church before. We were put in a small group with the Aung-Dins, Penetecosts and the Taylors. Two of the homes we met in were enormous…three times the size of our house. We really didn’t fit but they welcomed us, made us feel comfortable and took us under their wing.

Patrick and I have been married now for nine years and we are leading a small group. There has been a
miraculous transformation in my relationship with James, Jay and his wife who is a wonderful Christian lady. James lives with his dad and step mom most of the year but stays with Patrick and me during summer school vacation.

Footnote. About a year after I was released from prison I went into the jail with Sue Berger the Bible teacher to share my experience. Every Wednesday night for two or three hours I co-lead this Bible study. I have been teaching Bible study in county jail now for ten years. I get a call from the Chaplain. He wanted me to know that this month, February; (2007) they are having an honorary breakfast for the volunteer of the year for Sarasota County Jail. And yeah it is me. Go Figure.

I was an inmate, a non believer of Jesus and facing 11 years in prison. And now fast forward 12 years and I’m being honored not only as a volunteer but as a Bible study teacher. You see God takes wretches and makes them into people who are useful. It is amazing. It is so God.

Christy Smith
Sarasota, Fl.