Wedding on her knees

 

Week of May 4, 2014

 

It was October 2. It was my day off and it was my birthday. I was also a month and a half into therapy for burnout and depression.

 

I love to garden and there was a particular flower bed that irritated me. I was determined this day to weed, plant and mulch that piece of the garden.

 

While on my knees pulling weeds, God brought to mind a story about a mom picking up her daughter from work. The daughter was on her knees stocking a shelf. Two men walked by the end of the aisle and the mother heard one say to the other, “That’s where a woman should be, down on her knees.”

 

The words and the imagery pierced my heart. It was my story. I had been told who I was based on someone’s definition of what I could and could not do. The tears came and with every weed I yanked I became more determined to remove the lies from my heart about who I was. I cried out to God to help me.

 

Most of my negative messages had come through religious, male authoritative figures in my life.

Still on my knees by that garden, I looked up to the sky and asked, “ How can I be created in your image when you are , when you are…all MALE?

I stiffened, looked around, but lightning didn’t strike, so I continued weeding not expecting an answer.

 

What came to mind was a picture of Jesus on His knees washing the dirty feet of his disciples. My tears began to flow again only this time they were not tears of anguish but tears of healing, release and pure joy.

 

I felt as if the very hand of God had touched my heart and healed it. At that moment I realized that Jesus, though male, understood me more than anyone.

 

He the King of kings went down on His knees and took the lowly position of a servant to wash dirty feet. He most certainly understood me. He made me and knew every intimate detail about me from the beginning.

 

That day Jesus healed me. He restored my rightful position as a worthy child of God to come alongside as co-image bearers. He had a purpose and a plan for my life, and it was not based on what others said I could do, but based on who God said I was through Christ.

 

Janae Shatley Camp

Paragould, Arkansas 

 Taken from Image Wearers to Image Bearers with permission.