Tuesday, October 14, 2014

My Spiritual Quest



Week of October 12

 

In the fall of 2005, I left my job working as a prosecutor for the State of New Jersey and contemplated my next career move.  I had just started dating a nice man from the Jersey shore and I considered moving there to start my own business.  Before I even began thinking about new employment, I planned a trip to the southwest part of the US.  My intention was to take a journey, not just a vacation.  I told myself  (and some close friends) that this was a spiritual quest.  I knew there was a lack of something in my life.  I felt empty inside, especially after so many failures in my relationships and my career. Even without a belief in God, I still knew that the longing I was feeling was in the spiritual realm not the worldly.

 

I flew to Albequerque, New Mexico, rented a SUV, and headed towards Sante Fe and Taos. After a couple of days I rented a mountain bike and followed a trail alongside the Rio Grande River.  I was alone.  I liked being by myself.  Typically, I was more open to new experiences and friendships when I was traveling alone.  As I rode the trail high above the famous river, I began to get a sense of the vastness of the countryside.  I had ridden for an hour without passing a soul.  At one point I stopped just to listen to the silence.  All I could hear was the sound of my blood whooshing in my ears.  No cars, no people, not even the call of a bird.  It felt a bit surreal.  And for some reason I looked up at the sky.  I would say in reflection that God wanted me to look up and I was responding to his unspoken call.

 

As I looked at the deep blue sky with its wispy clouds, my eyes immediately fixed on a recognizable shape in the cloud directly above my head.  My jaw dropped as I picked out the unmistakable outline of a bearded Jesus with a crown of thorns on his head.  I gaped for what seemed like a minute but it could have been less. 

 

When the cloud finally began to break up, I tilted my head back to upright and wondered about what I had just seen.  I was not a believer in Jesus and having been raised by secular, Jewish intellectual parents, the face of Jesus was the last thing I was searching for in my spiritual quest.

 

That  incident stuck with me but not in any revelatory way.  It was just a really cool thing to file away in the recollection of my journey out West. 

 

 When my travels took me to Moab and Zion, I had two separate encounters with Christians who witnessed to me.  In Moab, I was shopping in a knick knack store – more like a warehouse of strange things – when I struck up a conversation with the owner, Robert.  He offered to take me to Arches National Park the next day.  I agreed and we met at a breakfast joint the next morning.  I thought Robert was a bit eccentric so it didn’t faze me when he began to mention Jesus on the hiking trail into the park.  The rock formations were amazing and it was nice to have a companion for once in my travels.  When we parted, I took his email address.  Although I wrote a time or too, it was never to acknowledge his testimony; I just offered a thank you for a great day.

 

When I started out on my first day at Zion National Park, I rose early so I could take in some coffee and breakfast to fortify my day of hiking.  It was a small restaurant and I recall striking up a conversation with two young ladies seated nearby.  They shared that they were both attending a Christian leadership camp of some sort.  I asked where they were from and we shared our plans for the upcoming week.  As I began to finish up my coffee, one of the girls shared about Jesus and salvation.  I cannot now remember her words, but the sincerity was clear as was her longing for me to understand.  I finally extricated myself and walked to my car.  The girl who shared chased me into the parking lot waving a piece of paper.  It was a piece of scripture – typed or handwritten, I cannot recall.  I saved it for some reason and even remember finding it many years later after I had become a Christian.  I wish these young ladies and Robert could both know now that I am a follower of Christ.  We never know when seeds we sow ripen into faith

  These were the first times I had ever been witnessed to as far as I can recall.  The incidents happened within days of each other and of the experience along the Rio Grande.  I have pretty specific recollections of these two people who witnessed to me.  I recall even now that they spoke specifically about Jesus as the way to salvation and a relationship with God.  However, despite the overt purpose of my journey – to create a stronger spiritual part of my life – the incident with the clouds and the encounters with the Christians did not cause me to consider following Jesus even for one moment.  Following the trip, I did not give much thought to Jesus or the testimony of my new acquaintances. 

 

In a few months, I would move to the coast of New Jersey and begin to start my own law practice.  I was still dating my nice, Catholic beau.  We discussed his beliefs; he gave me books to read (The Shack, Conversations with God).  And so maybe the path was sown with enough seeds to allow me to agree, in the summer of 2006, to attend a Saturday night service at my secretary’s church.  She told me her husband was leading the music and I thought that sounded like a nice reason to go to church.

 

As I began to go regularly to the Saturday night services, the incidences in New Mexico and Utah began to return to mind.  I was learning that God allows seekers to find Him when they are ready.  He puts people and occurrences in our lives to lead us to Him.  I could not see the big picture while I was an unbelieving seeker; but as the months went by it became clear to me that God wanted me – specifically, me, as an individual - to find Him.  And Jesus was not some foreign entity, an object to be dismissed as generations of Jews before me had done unthinkingly.  Jesus was merely the part of God that is observable, knowable, approachable.  I found out in August of 2007, knowing God was as simple as asking Him into my life and into my heart. 

 

It was more than a year and a half from when I had begun my “spiritual quest.”  I had no idea then how intricately planned that trip actually had been.  I had nothing to do with it really.  But looking back over the years, I can see the greater picture and how God works so specifically in each of our lives to bring us closer to knowing Him.  Hopefully, by reading my story now, a seed is planted in your heart as it was in mine.  Let the real Journey begin!

 

Alison Aaron Madsen
The New Jersey Shore

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